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The Country FuckerOnce upon a time, I planned to spend half the year in Berlin and the other half in Brazil… until I realized I would need some magic third place to spend a third half of the year in making money to support the other two…
(from a conversation with rollmeoverslowly…)
Dear Tumblr… I don’t like crowds, and would rather have my teeth pulled than go “clubbing”. Also, I’m usually too busy making art to be talking about art over lines of white powder somewhere at 4AM. Could this be why I’m still single and not famous?
I have been doing a lot of soul-searching lately about my relationship with this fine-arts world. So much of it seems like pretentious, hyper-conceptual rubbish made by and for an over-educated elite whose values I am increasingly coming not to share. But my main problem is with the economics of the whole thing. As an “artist” (rather than a “craftsman”, “designer”, “technician” or some other lower life form in the fine-arts food chain), you are expected to live on symbolic compensation for your labor, such as airplane tickets, drinks, dinners and that ever elusive non-thing, “exposure”. I have decided that, until my rent, grocery bills, health insurance, artist materials and therapy for my fucked up mind (unaffordable luxury so far) are also symbolic in cost, I will no longer accept symbolic payment for my art. Give me an honest day’s wage for an honest day’s work.
When I was but a young man, my mother said to me;
“Boy, you better marry rich, ‘cause you sure can’t lift a shovel!”
Still workin’ on that one.
Currently trying to book a South American tour for myself. Frustrating because no one can really afford to bring me anywhere (and I can’t afford to pay it myself!!!), but exciting when I think of all the places I could possibly go. One festival in Valparaiso confirmed, with return flight from Germany. Residency in Chilean Patagonia high on my list at the moment. Also super cool music scene in Buenos Aires. Wish me luck!
personal biz travel the wonderful horrible life of the artist
Tonight, I went out to see The Master and allowed myself to be seduced into the first several beautiful, wordless minutes. Then it came time for Mr. Phoenix to speak his first lines. He opened his mouth… and fucking German came out!!!!
Instant exit to the ticket counter for a full refund.
Yes, my friends and I made a small mistake, and despite the fact that this particular cinema shows most of the films OV (original language), this one was dubbed. And in that horrible German way, where they spend a lot of time trying to match the dialog back to the real actors movements, but everything is recorded on a totally dead soundstage which has nothing to do with the ambiance the actor is speaking in. I have never been able to figure out why they must rape film in such a brutal way.
Travelers be warned… there’s a reason why I never go see movies in Berlin.
personal words of advice for young people which i obviously forgot
One last try, before this gets consigned to oblivion…
I dunno… fond memories of the one time it ever led to anything real (i.e. heartbreak) perhaps?
I have. And I might again. But what one searches for online is often quite different than what one might do in real life. In case that’s news to anyone… I’ve scrolled through so many OKC profiles looking for the perfect vegan boyfriend, the patient polyamorous lover and the platonic (but wealthy) older man that I feel no reason to send hatemail to anyone based on their fantasies.
So I had some woman on OKC try to call me out for not wanting to “date women my own age” tonight, because my search filters are set *three years younger* than I am.
I have found that random strangers, with whom you have had no previous contact, who criticize and harass you on the internet are often suffering from:
A. Some religious/moral/political agenda they think is at odds with yours
B. A personality disorder
or
C. Both.
In any case, it has nothing to do with who I am as an individual. So these folks are quite welcome to walk on.
i.e. haters gonna hate gotta delete that OKC thing one day personal
I hate politics, but even more I simply can’t stand self-righteous activist types who judge you according to their contrived sociological categories rather than your real, lived experience. I had some woman tell me such ridiculous things “about me” this evening, they don’t even bear repeating. So glad I left that scene decades ago…
Chatting with Seda at Slowlands II.
Lately I’ve been looking for more “grown up” bars in Berlin. Places where you can have a nice drink, good conversation, the music doesn’t go “thump-thump-thump-thump” and you don’t go home smelling like a smoked fish.
You wouldn’t believe how hard that is to find here, until you realize that no matter how old they are, everyone in Berlin is a perpetual student…
slowlands Taste the doom single malts whiskey me self personal
Lately I’m over-obsessed with drinking and sleeping. Maybe winter needs to end soon…
Last year, it was all glossy, product-placed menswear blogs… this year, it only seems to be vintage porn that gets suggested to me by the TumblrBot.
